I got an email from Ate Menchie...Very timely..I really need this kind of article:
The 90/10 Principle
Author : Stephen Covey ( Management Guru)
Have you read this before?
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way
you react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by
how you react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop
the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We
have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine
the other 90%. How?
By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control
your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a
cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what
just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how
you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the
cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your
spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of
the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave
immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office
20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has
started terrible. As it continues, it seems to! get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small
wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is " D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say,
"It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a
towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase,
you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child
getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and
cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other
90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the
attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative
comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A
wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting
stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel
fall off)
Do you curse?
Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin
your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It
will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another
job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why
take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control
over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other
passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make
things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be
amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this
principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved
stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success
in life.
Bad days follow bad days.
Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant
stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time.
Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the
fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does
this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged..
You can be different!
Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life.........!!!!!!!
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
9 Things that Zap your Vitality - by Denise Schipani
I got this article from Yahoo...
Out of Energy?
By Denise Schipani
See nine things that zap your vitality and how to get it back
It's 3 p.m.--do you know where your energy's gone? You probably expect to feel that late-afternoon drag, but you don't always have to. Turns out, some of your regular habits may be sneakily zapping your zip. Fix some or all of these energy stealers, and you just may be feeling brighter this afternoon.
Energy Zapper #1: Being Addicted to E-mail
Isn't being wired to the hilt--e-mail, voice mail, IM, BlackBerry--supposed to boost productivity, freeing up your energy? More often, the opposite is true. If you continually halt what you're doing to answer e-mail, check voice mail, and attend to a thousand other beeps and blips, your attention becomes diluted, which leaves you feeling depleted.
There are two things going on here, says John Salerno, MD, a New York City family physician and director of the Salerno Center for Complementary Medicine. "The brain needs a lot of physical and mental energy to multitask, which gets drained," he says. And continually redirecting your attention from the BlackBerry to other stimuli siphons more energy and distracts your brain further.
Energy Fix
Switch off electronic gadgets during your most productive work hours, which for most people tend to be in the morning, says Laura Stack, author of The Exhaustion Cure. As for e-mail, try to limit yourself to checking it once every hour, instead of hopping to whenever it beeps. (Hint: Turn off the beep sound.) If something pops into your mind that you need to remember--call back your mom, e-mail the soccer coach about the snack schedule--write it down and take care of it later.
Energy Zapper #2: Visual Clutter
We may be used to living in enclosed spaces with lots of stuff--a refrigerator door packed with artwork, a countertop laden with mail, a desk that's little more than a shifting pile of folders and paper--but it's not how we're meant to live, says Dr. Salerno. "Clutter signals disorder, which makes us anxious. Our brains sense that anxiety."
Energy Fix
Do your best to clear visual clutter, so when you look around, your eyes can "rest" rather than dart from mess to mess, says Janice Ash, organization expert and owner of I Declutter!. Instead of layering papers on a bulletin board, leave a small border of space around them. Clear the front of the fridge of all but the most current kids' artwork, and make a habit of leaving the kitchen counter stuff-free before bed each night.
Energy Zapper #3: Being Bored
Ever sat around for an hour or more not tackling a chore or work because it's just so darned monotonous? Mental foot-dragging, boredom and lack of motivation are draining, says Dr. Salerno. "Put simply, we like to see results, and getting things done gives us a mental energy boost." So avoiding tasks deprives you of that high.
Energy Fix
Find a partner for encouragement--a friend, a coworker--and call or e-mail to enlist her in a time challenge. "Say, ‘I'll check back in with you in an hour, and we'll see if we've gotten these reports/ organizing chores done.'" Or promise yourself motivational rewards for completing the task at hand, suggests Dr. Salerno.
Energy Zapper #4: Poor Posture
You already know that not sitting or standing straight is bad for your body. But all that hunching over a computer screen or cradling a phone on your shoulder wreaks havoc on your energy level, too, says Pia Martin, a San Diego health and wellness chiropractor. "When you sit for long periods, you tend to slump forward, leading to rounded shoulders and a tilted lower spine. Your muscles contract, and blood flow is impaired," which limits the amount of oxygen to your brain.
Energy Fix
Sit up straight! Your legs should be at right angles to the floor, your arms at right angles to your keyboard. Be conscious of keeping your shoulders down, not up near your ears. Adjust your computer screen so your eyes gaze at the middle of it. And don't just sit there--if you have to, set a timer to go off hourly to remind you to get up, stretch and get a drink of water. When you get back to your desk, do a quick posture check: Shoulders down! (Reboot your posture with these tips.)
Energy Zapper #5: Toxic Indoor Air
Humming copy machines. Cleaning products. Dry-cleaning chemicals. Synthetic carpeting. Even the desks in your office may be contributing to the load of toxins you breathe each day, because all of them release chemicals into the air. "No one knows for sure how much harm these cause to our bodies, but they do build up over time, and can drain your energy by potentially interfering with thyroid function and overloading the body's detox system," says Frank Lipman, MD, a New York City physician and author of Spent: End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again. (Reduce your exposure to chemical toxins.)
Energy Fix
Get outside. If you're feeling tired, go out for 10 minutes to breathe fresh air. Indoors, cultivate houseplants, which are remarkably good at absorbing toxins. And don't wear shoes inside the house--you're dragging not just dirt indoors on your soles, but pesticides and other harmful chemicals too.
Energy Zapper #6: Eating Too Much at Once
Consuming a big meal is always something that will cause a dip in energy later, but that effect is most noticeable in the afternoon because the slump happens at that reach-for-coffee-or-sugar hour: 3 p.m. Here's what happens: You fill up on a carb- and calorie-rich lunch and, as nutrients are absorbed by your body, excess glucose is dumped into your bloodstream, and your body releases insulin to process all that sugar. "A better idea is to spread out what and how you eat throughout the day to keep energy levels steady," says Gloria Tsang, RD, founder of the nutrition website HealthCastle.com.
Energy Fix
Eat every four hours, instead of the usual six. To reform lunch, "try to brownbag more often than eating out," says Tsang. It's a fact that if you buy takeout or dine in a restaurant, you're likely to eat more. Four hours after lunch, have a snack. If you're going to eat dinner a couple of hours later, keep the snack small, such as half a turkey sandwich, or a yogurt and some crackers. Other ideas: Drink liquids (water, tea) all day. "Dehydration makes you tired, too," says Tsang. If you usually have coffee right after lunch, try it a little later in the afternoon and make it a latte. The caffeine's an obvious pick-me-up, but the little bit of fat and protein in the milk gives you a snack-like boost. (Increase your energy with a smarter lunch.)
Energy Zapper #7: Living in Artificial Light
Our natural body rhythms are keyed to the rising and setting of the sun, says Carol Ash, DO, medical director of Sleep for Life, a sleep-disorder clinic in Somerset, New Jersey. When you open your eyes in the morning and get your first glimpse of sunlight, your brain receives a signal that helps it set its sleep-wake clock for the day. Similarly, seeing sunlight during the day gives your brain a boost. So if you are awake before the sun, and/or don't see much sun all day, your body is experiencing something a lot like jet lag.
Energy Fix
Instead of hitting the coffee cart when you're flagging, hit the sidewalk--the combination of physical exercise and a shot of sunlight will energize you. You don't need much: "A 10- to 20-minute walk in the sunshine will give you a boost," says Dr. Ash.
Energy Zapper #8: Listening to Negative Nellies
You may be upbeat, but it can be exhausting to listen to complainers all day long, whether it's the fellow mom who calls to trash-talk the neighbors or the coworker who never has a positive word to say. It's not your imagination: A 2006 study at Chicago's Northwestern University found that people forced to listen to "high-maintenance" colleagues became frustrated and unfocused, and suffered a decline in the quality of their work.
Energy Fix
Insulate yourself as best you can. If a coworker loves to enumerate her complaints, cut her off with a firm but polite "I really have to get this finished," then smile and get to work. She'll get the message. If it's your own negative thoughts that drag you down, train yourself to banish them by listing, daily, the things you're grateful for, so you can pull out that list when the negative stuff intrudes.
Energy Zapper #9: Holding a Grudge
It takes a surprising amount of energy to remember whom you have a grudge against, and to continually update the faults, missteps and things you're mad about. "Resentment is a huge drain physically as well as mentally," says Dr. Lipman. "Anger, resentment, grudges--all of these emotions are toxic, and we hang on to them in our bodies especially in tense, tired muscles."
Energy Fix
It takes practice, but try to forgive old mistakes. An easy way to start is to simply be aware of the times negative thoughts about others creep into your mind, says Dr. Lipman. "Think of others as flawed humans, which we all are," which makes it easier to forgive-and free up energy.
Out of Energy?
By Denise Schipani
See nine things that zap your vitality and how to get it back
It's 3 p.m.--do you know where your energy's gone? You probably expect to feel that late-afternoon drag, but you don't always have to. Turns out, some of your regular habits may be sneakily zapping your zip. Fix some or all of these energy stealers, and you just may be feeling brighter this afternoon.
Energy Zapper #1: Being Addicted to E-mail
Isn't being wired to the hilt--e-mail, voice mail, IM, BlackBerry--supposed to boost productivity, freeing up your energy? More often, the opposite is true. If you continually halt what you're doing to answer e-mail, check voice mail, and attend to a thousand other beeps and blips, your attention becomes diluted, which leaves you feeling depleted.
There are two things going on here, says John Salerno, MD, a New York City family physician and director of the Salerno Center for Complementary Medicine. "The brain needs a lot of physical and mental energy to multitask, which gets drained," he says. And continually redirecting your attention from the BlackBerry to other stimuli siphons more energy and distracts your brain further.
Energy Fix
Switch off electronic gadgets during your most productive work hours, which for most people tend to be in the morning, says Laura Stack, author of The Exhaustion Cure. As for e-mail, try to limit yourself to checking it once every hour, instead of hopping to whenever it beeps. (Hint: Turn off the beep sound.) If something pops into your mind that you need to remember--call back your mom, e-mail the soccer coach about the snack schedule--write it down and take care of it later.
Energy Zapper #2: Visual Clutter
We may be used to living in enclosed spaces with lots of stuff--a refrigerator door packed with artwork, a countertop laden with mail, a desk that's little more than a shifting pile of folders and paper--but it's not how we're meant to live, says Dr. Salerno. "Clutter signals disorder, which makes us anxious. Our brains sense that anxiety."
Energy Fix
Do your best to clear visual clutter, so when you look around, your eyes can "rest" rather than dart from mess to mess, says Janice Ash, organization expert and owner of I Declutter!. Instead of layering papers on a bulletin board, leave a small border of space around them. Clear the front of the fridge of all but the most current kids' artwork, and make a habit of leaving the kitchen counter stuff-free before bed each night.
Energy Zapper #3: Being Bored
Ever sat around for an hour or more not tackling a chore or work because it's just so darned monotonous? Mental foot-dragging, boredom and lack of motivation are draining, says Dr. Salerno. "Put simply, we like to see results, and getting things done gives us a mental energy boost." So avoiding tasks deprives you of that high.
Energy Fix
Find a partner for encouragement--a friend, a coworker--and call or e-mail to enlist her in a time challenge. "Say, ‘I'll check back in with you in an hour, and we'll see if we've gotten these reports/ organizing chores done.'" Or promise yourself motivational rewards for completing the task at hand, suggests Dr. Salerno.
Energy Zapper #4: Poor Posture
You already know that not sitting or standing straight is bad for your body. But all that hunching over a computer screen or cradling a phone on your shoulder wreaks havoc on your energy level, too, says Pia Martin, a San Diego health and wellness chiropractor. "When you sit for long periods, you tend to slump forward, leading to rounded shoulders and a tilted lower spine. Your muscles contract, and blood flow is impaired," which limits the amount of oxygen to your brain.
Energy Fix
Sit up straight! Your legs should be at right angles to the floor, your arms at right angles to your keyboard. Be conscious of keeping your shoulders down, not up near your ears. Adjust your computer screen so your eyes gaze at the middle of it. And don't just sit there--if you have to, set a timer to go off hourly to remind you to get up, stretch and get a drink of water. When you get back to your desk, do a quick posture check: Shoulders down! (Reboot your posture with these tips.)
Energy Zapper #5: Toxic Indoor Air
Humming copy machines. Cleaning products. Dry-cleaning chemicals. Synthetic carpeting. Even the desks in your office may be contributing to the load of toxins you breathe each day, because all of them release chemicals into the air. "No one knows for sure how much harm these cause to our bodies, but they do build up over time, and can drain your energy by potentially interfering with thyroid function and overloading the body's detox system," says Frank Lipman, MD, a New York City physician and author of Spent: End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again. (Reduce your exposure to chemical toxins.)
Energy Fix
Get outside. If you're feeling tired, go out for 10 minutes to breathe fresh air. Indoors, cultivate houseplants, which are remarkably good at absorbing toxins. And don't wear shoes inside the house--you're dragging not just dirt indoors on your soles, but pesticides and other harmful chemicals too.
Energy Zapper #6: Eating Too Much at Once
Consuming a big meal is always something that will cause a dip in energy later, but that effect is most noticeable in the afternoon because the slump happens at that reach-for-coffee-or-sugar hour: 3 p.m. Here's what happens: You fill up on a carb- and calorie-rich lunch and, as nutrients are absorbed by your body, excess glucose is dumped into your bloodstream, and your body releases insulin to process all that sugar. "A better idea is to spread out what and how you eat throughout the day to keep energy levels steady," says Gloria Tsang, RD, founder of the nutrition website HealthCastle.com.
Energy Fix
Eat every four hours, instead of the usual six. To reform lunch, "try to brownbag more often than eating out," says Tsang. It's a fact that if you buy takeout or dine in a restaurant, you're likely to eat more. Four hours after lunch, have a snack. If you're going to eat dinner a couple of hours later, keep the snack small, such as half a turkey sandwich, or a yogurt and some crackers. Other ideas: Drink liquids (water, tea) all day. "Dehydration makes you tired, too," says Tsang. If you usually have coffee right after lunch, try it a little later in the afternoon and make it a latte. The caffeine's an obvious pick-me-up, but the little bit of fat and protein in the milk gives you a snack-like boost. (Increase your energy with a smarter lunch.)
Energy Zapper #7: Living in Artificial Light
Our natural body rhythms are keyed to the rising and setting of the sun, says Carol Ash, DO, medical director of Sleep for Life, a sleep-disorder clinic in Somerset, New Jersey. When you open your eyes in the morning and get your first glimpse of sunlight, your brain receives a signal that helps it set its sleep-wake clock for the day. Similarly, seeing sunlight during the day gives your brain a boost. So if you are awake before the sun, and/or don't see much sun all day, your body is experiencing something a lot like jet lag.
Energy Fix
Instead of hitting the coffee cart when you're flagging, hit the sidewalk--the combination of physical exercise and a shot of sunlight will energize you. You don't need much: "A 10- to 20-minute walk in the sunshine will give you a boost," says Dr. Ash.
Energy Zapper #8: Listening to Negative Nellies
You may be upbeat, but it can be exhausting to listen to complainers all day long, whether it's the fellow mom who calls to trash-talk the neighbors or the coworker who never has a positive word to say. It's not your imagination: A 2006 study at Chicago's Northwestern University found that people forced to listen to "high-maintenance" colleagues became frustrated and unfocused, and suffered a decline in the quality of their work.
Energy Fix
Insulate yourself as best you can. If a coworker loves to enumerate her complaints, cut her off with a firm but polite "I really have to get this finished," then smile and get to work. She'll get the message. If it's your own negative thoughts that drag you down, train yourself to banish them by listing, daily, the things you're grateful for, so you can pull out that list when the negative stuff intrudes.
Energy Zapper #9: Holding a Grudge
It takes a surprising amount of energy to remember whom you have a grudge against, and to continually update the faults, missteps and things you're mad about. "Resentment is a huge drain physically as well as mentally," says Dr. Lipman. "Anger, resentment, grudges--all of these emotions are toxic, and we hang on to them in our bodies especially in tense, tired muscles."
Energy Fix
It takes practice, but try to forgive old mistakes. An easy way to start is to simply be aware of the times negative thoughts about others creep into your mind, says Dr. Lipman. "Think of others as flawed humans, which we all are," which makes it easier to forgive-and free up energy.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Ways to Handle Stress
There are several ways of handling stress. When I'm stressed out, I often browse stress related articles in the web or magazines or even in self-help books. But even if there are tons of written topics about stress, there are some techniques that suits to me, but some are not.
1. Talk! They say talking about the stressor can alleviate some of the tension you feel. I say, there are some things that I kept in all by myself.
I follow: Write it out.
I do not: Exercise
But like to try: Hit a pillow.
2. ACT! Be willing to take risk and make change, no matter how small. Try to change the stressful situation, or at least some part of it. Moving forward in small ways helps you feel empowered and in control.
3. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! If you learn about how your body reacts to stress, you can also learn how to counter that stress. Learn to listen to your body's signals and find ways to reduce your stress, even if it's just "taking five" to clear your mind.
Want to Try: Relaxation exercises (E.g. Yoga, meditation, physical exercise)
4. BE IN CHARGE! Discover what you need to feel good about yourself and get your needs met.
I follow: Another way to reduce your stress is to find an interest, hobby or activity where you feel in charge and call the shots.
5. DON'T OVERWHELM YOURSELF: If you are stressed and overwhelmed, perhaps you are trying to handle too much. Rid yourself of extra duties that aren't necessary or important.
I want to: Learn how to delegate and how to say "no" without feeling guilty. Ask for help if you need it.
6. GET AWAY: Sometimes a change, however small, can do wonders for your spirit. Forget it all for a while--escape! Go somewhere new for a few hours, or a few days if you can afford to. If not, it may be helpful just to "get away" to a warm bath for a little while!
I want to do: Spa, massage and a vacation..soon!
7. PRIORITIZE: You may not be able to avoid all the responsibilities obligations you currently have, but you can learn how to complete them without resentment and consciously choose how you will handle them.
8. EXTEND YOURSELF: Make your own life better by making someone else's life better. Give of yourself. Volunteer! You will feel empowered, positive, important...and you will be!
9. MAKE SUCCESS HAPPEN! If you can't change the world, change yourself! Learn how to love yourself as you are, while you work towards your goals. Then, make a commitment to yourself to start improving the things about yourself and your life that (you believe) need it. Instead of immediate, dramatic change, learn to enjoy the journey of lifelong self-improvement.
11. LEARN HOW TO BE HAPPY: One thing all of life's winners have in common is a sense of well-being, a positive attitude and realistic goals. Focus on the good things about yourself, and in your life. Nobody's perfect. Learn to enjoy the "little things" that make you happy. Count your blessings. Every day, write down on a slip of paper one thing you are grateful for, even if it's just a sunny day, a friend's phone call, your cat's happy purr.
1. Talk! They say talking about the stressor can alleviate some of the tension you feel. I say, there are some things that I kept in all by myself.
I follow: Write it out.
I do not: Exercise
But like to try: Hit a pillow.
2. ACT! Be willing to take risk and make change, no matter how small. Try to change the stressful situation, or at least some part of it. Moving forward in small ways helps you feel empowered and in control.
3. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! If you learn about how your body reacts to stress, you can also learn how to counter that stress. Learn to listen to your body's signals and find ways to reduce your stress, even if it's just "taking five" to clear your mind.
Want to Try: Relaxation exercises (E.g. Yoga, meditation, physical exercise)
4. BE IN CHARGE! Discover what you need to feel good about yourself and get your needs met.
I follow: Another way to reduce your stress is to find an interest, hobby or activity where you feel in charge and call the shots.
5. DON'T OVERWHELM YOURSELF: If you are stressed and overwhelmed, perhaps you are trying to handle too much. Rid yourself of extra duties that aren't necessary or important.
I want to: Learn how to delegate and how to say "no" without feeling guilty. Ask for help if you need it.
6. GET AWAY: Sometimes a change, however small, can do wonders for your spirit. Forget it all for a while--escape! Go somewhere new for a few hours, or a few days if you can afford to. If not, it may be helpful just to "get away" to a warm bath for a little while!
I want to do: Spa, massage and a vacation..soon!
7. PRIORITIZE: You may not be able to avoid all the responsibilities obligations you currently have, but you can learn how to complete them without resentment and consciously choose how you will handle them.
8. EXTEND YOURSELF: Make your own life better by making someone else's life better. Give of yourself. Volunteer! You will feel empowered, positive, important...and you will be!
9. MAKE SUCCESS HAPPEN! If you can't change the world, change yourself! Learn how to love yourself as you are, while you work towards your goals. Then, make a commitment to yourself to start improving the things about yourself and your life that (you believe) need it. Instead of immediate, dramatic change, learn to enjoy the journey of lifelong self-improvement.
11. LEARN HOW TO BE HAPPY: One thing all of life's winners have in common is a sense of well-being, a positive attitude and realistic goals. Focus on the good things about yourself, and in your life. Nobody's perfect. Learn to enjoy the "little things" that make you happy. Count your blessings. Every day, write down on a slip of paper one thing you are grateful for, even if it's just a sunny day, a friend's phone call, your cat's happy purr.
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